The Before and After ME
Episode 14: The Before and After ME: The Diagnosis That Changed My Outlook on Life
Have you had a watershed moment when you find you now have a “before” and an “after” demarcation in your life? Six days after an endoscopy, I found myself seated in front of a doctor with a diagnosis I didn’t understand: a rare and aggressive stomach cancer. What followed was a blur of appointments, scans and second opinions. I moved through it all in silence, protecting my kids from a reality I hadn’t fully processed myself. What began as a simple test turned into a full-time job of survival, all while parenting, working and hiding the most terrifying truth of my life.
Key Themes from the Episode:
The Moment Everything Changed: On my daughter’s birthday, which was also the anniversary of my mother’s first chemotherapy treatment, a doctor first uttered the words “signet cell carcinoma” to me, explaining its rarity and seriousness. It was something I’d never even heard of, until it was mine. And once I Googled it, I found myself facing a frightening prognosis.
Calling in Backup: The diagnosis that I kept as a complete secret eventually required the support of others. A close friend who understood the fear, the science and grief generously attended appointments, taking notes, and helping me hold it together while I shielded my family. Then our former nanny swept in to support me and my children. And eventually, more friends, sisters and co-workers. All showing up to keep me going in the face of the scariest moment of my life.
Finding Strength in Dr. Strong: A second opinion at Memorial Sloan Kettering led me to Dr. Strong – a literal and figurative superhero. She gave me hope by explaining that what they were seeing was treatable with surgery. For the first time, I heard the words: “You’re not going to die” and I knew I was going to not just live, but live out loud.
Living Life in Parallel: While navigating tests and scans, I was also mothering through crisis: helping my daughter through school refusal and a possible school transfer, my son through an emotionally difficult senior year of high school, and keeping up with work, a sick family member and a home move, all without letting the cracks show.
Additional Resources:
LEARN MORE about genetic testing
This Week’s Song Superwoman by Alicia Keys (play it today and any time you need to remind yourself just how strong you are)
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